Crowbar
by TheIceRose
Summary: Kyle mentions that it would take a crowbar to keep Stan and Wendy apart.


Stan Marsh was hanging out at the mall with his friend Kyle, there was an art fair going on and he and Kyle were sitting on the second floor of the mall and looking at all the "hippies" as Eric called them who were buying things like homemade jewelry and papier-mâché junk.

"You can see down that girl's shirt…" Kyle mused, staring over the ledge at a teenage girl with a low cut black shirt. "That's awesome; none of the buttons are done,"

"Hm," Stan nodded in agreement, watching Kyle instead of looking at the girl.

"I'm gonna go ask her out," Kyle grinned, standing up and taking off his hat.

Stan just about fell off the bench as Kyle's red hair fell lightly around his face; unlike the crazy jew-fro he had as a child.

"B-but dude, you barely know her!" Stan exclaimed, jumping to his feet beside his super best friend.

"Yeah, but you have Wendy and I should really get a girlfriend you know?" Kyle asked turning and giving Stan an excited smile.

"We broke up on Friday!" Stan groaned, trying to get it through his friend's thick head; they had been over this before.

"Yeah, you broke up two weeks ago dude, and then you started dating again the next Wednesday," Kyle laughed, "It'll take a crowbar to keep you two apart,"

"Shut up dude," Stan flushed with embarrassment, trying to think of another reason to stop the Jewish boy but Kyle was already going down the elevator.

Stan paled and ran past him, almost tripping over his feet.

"Stan?" Kyle yelled, running to keep up with his friend.

"Will you go out with me?" Stan breathlessly asked the teenage girl.

She stared up at him, body checked him, and then turned to her friend for approval.

The other girl nodded.

"Sure, meet me here tonight at nine," the girl said.

"Awesome," Stan grinned, and turned to Kyle, who was staring at him; furious.

"What the fuck Stan?" Kyle hissed, his green eyes burning with anger.

Stan shuddered at the mistake he had made… not only had he pissed his friend off, his friend was damn hott when he was angry.

"Uh…" Stan said, "She was fine?"

"And I called her dammit! Ugh! Stan you piss me off so badly sometimes," Kyle growled, which sent Stan's stomach into flips. He wondered if he could ever make Kyle growl in a different way.

"Dude!" Stan exclaimed at the thoughts going through his head.

"What?" Kyle snapped, thinking Stan was talking to him.

"Nothing," Stan said, shaking his head as a blush crept across his face.

"Whatever dude, you're a shitty best friend. I don't need you," Kyle said, pulling his hat back on and walking away.

"Kyle! We've been over this! I'm the one who needs you!" Stan yelled, hoping his friend would forgive him again.

"Fag," Cartman mumbled, walking hand in hand with Wendy.

"Aw, aww!" Stan moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

* * *

Kyle was sitting at home, staring at the clock.

It was nine thirty four. Stan was probably with that girl right now.

"God dammit!" Kyle huffed, throwing a pencil across the room.

"Ow," Stan said, as a pencil hit him.

"Stan!" Kyle said, shocked, "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked when he registered that he was still mad at his…ex super best friend.

"You're a crowbar dude," Stan said, grinning.

"You're an idiot, what the hell are you talking about?" Kyle asked.

Stan groaned, "Remember? At the mall?"

"You stole the girl I wanted…" Kyle muttered.

"Before that! You said it would take a crowbar to keep Wendy and I apart!"

"…And I'm a crowbar?" Kyle made sure.

"Yes," Stan smiled.

"Dude you've always chosen girls before your friends, don't be stupid," Kyle laughed.

"I… I'm not thinking of you as a friend Kyle," Stan mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Stan don't be stupid!" Kyle stammered, his face getting red.

Stan groaned, he felt like an idiot.

"Never mind, sorry I wasted your time," Stan said.

* * *

Kyle watched Stan leave, wondering if he was serious about being together.

"Stan!" Kyle yelled, running down the stairs.

"He just left Bubby," Kyle's mom said, "I'm sure you can catch up to him,"

"Thanks mom!" Kyle yelled, running out the door.

"STAN!" Kyle screamed, seeing him a couple houses down.

Stan didn't keep walking, but he didn't turn around. Kyle ran up to him, and took his hand.

"I'm a crowbar," he smiled.

"Really?" Stan grinned.

"Yeah," Kyle smiled.

Stan leaned down and kissed him, holding him tightly.

"If you go back on this… I will beat you to death with a crow bar," Kyle glared.

"Damn you're sexy," Stan grinned, attacking Kyle's mouth once more.


End file.
